Permission to NOT do the thing
It is okay for some things not to get done.
It is okay for some things to get postponed until we have greater capacity.
It is okay to set a goal and adjust it to respond to your current needs.
It is okay not to do the thing.
Last week was a doozy. Young Nemo (what I call him, even though he’s a ripe 10-year-old) had a rough week. And a rough week for Nemo meant constant supervision, sleepless nights, and a midnight emergency vet visit for his mommas.
The week began with excitement and careful preparation. It was my first week back from summer mode. I was looking forward to reconnecting with my coaching clients and doing some visioning for the month ahead. I was conscious about pacing myself and purposely didn’t schedule any evening events so I could honor rest at the end of my full days.
Regardless of my intentionality and well-thought-out design for the week, by Tuesday at midnight, I knew things would need to shift to prioritize my dog's health and be responsive to the lack of capacity I would have moving forward.
I let some things go.
And didn’t look back.
Stressed Young Nemo, spending time outside at midnight trying to settle his stomach, shortly before his ER trip.
Permission to NOT do the thing
Giving myself permission not to show up energetic and composed, with all boxes checked, is a consistent practice.
Each year I get better at noticing when I’m doing to please others rather than living in a way that honors my core values, worth, and capacity.
Former me would have tried to multi-task the late-night Nemo watch sessions. Checking email, exhausted, while trying to be present for my young one. I would have clung tightly to my to-do list and kept trying to live up to Monday’s expectations without considering my current context and present needs. I would have struggled and pushed myself to stay awake all day, seeing tiredness as a flaw that shouldn’t be presented to the public.
As I’ve increased my self-awareness and focused on my overall well-being, I’m getting more practiced at NOT doing all of the things, honoring my capacity.
Permitting myself to leave some things incomplete has incredibly impacted my well-being. It’s allowed me to feel more present and grounded in the moment. It’s helped me gain clarity and prioritize. And it’s increased my authenticity with others because I communicate my needs and boundaries.
I’ve also learned to accept that there will be times when people are disappointed in me, frustrated with me, and impatient with my boundaries. I haven’t become dismissive of other people’s feelings or needs. On the contrary, I have improved at setting clear boundaries to manage the expectations of those I’m serving and collaborating with. For example:
When I begin new partnerships or onboard new clients, I lead with my core values, clearly expressing the importance of wellness, community, and equity.
I put a note on my services request form that lets people know it may be 3-5 business days before they receive a response.
I frequently utilize out-of-office messages to communicate boundaries around my time and attention.
When I have a week that goes from right side up to upside down, I take a deep breath, assess the current conditions, and pause to consider ways to be responsive to the new needs that have presented themselves.
Honor your needs. Adjust accordingly.
Compare your current conditions and capacity against one of your original plans (for the week, for a project, etc.):
What will you give yourself permission to put down, let go of, postpone, or release?
How will you show yourself grace and compassion?
How will you communicate your needs, shift in priorities, and new boundaries?
Who or what could support you in reprioritizing?
That last question reminds us that community care is critical to our sustainability and our community's collective health and wellness. We do this work (of life) in Community. We don’t need to go this alone. As you let go of, postpone, adjust, and release, lean into your trusted community.
My coaching services are here if you need additional support in prioritizing your health and wellness and aligning your life with your core values.
If you’re not able to commit to coaching, or when my services are at capacity, check out my free video series, Start From Within. The content enhances your self-awareness, emotional capacity, and commitment to equity. New material is in the process of being designed. Thank you for your patience as I took a pause in development this spring/summer.
